Men I should have married

I have been addicted to facebook lately. (Let me know if you want to know who I am there). In part because I have a reunion coming up this year, and it makes me think about all of the people I did not give the possibility (of anything romantic) because I was dating "the loser" for so many of my prime years. It made me think about all of the men I should have married (not counting the one I divorced of course!)

Scott: Polite and well mannered. Spoke three languages fluently. He lived around the corner from me, and we went to school together. When I was 20 or so, I ran into him while walking to the end of a very long line to get Paul McCartney tickets. He was very close to the front of the line and he shouted to me (as I was walking by) and said "It is about time you got off of work and hugged me." (I had not seen him in two years or so). He turned to the guy behind him and said "Sorry, my wife just got off work." So yes, I cut in line and spent the long wait with him. He was leaving out of state the next day, and since it was YEARS before cell phones, we said good-bye and that was it. I looked for him at the concert, but did not see him. I should have married him.

Jeff: We were good friends in the first grade, he moved away, and then moved back in high school. He came back beautiful and shy. He was the "new kid" and I held back on becoming "too close" because I had a "boyfriend." He read books and always held the door open. I should have married him.

Brian: College. Shy frat boy that was in my study group. My friends and I helped him cram for a final, and he bought us all flowers for graduation. He never cussed and was always laughing and just happy in general. I should have married him.

I think I wasted my youth on chasing stupid things. I did not appreciate the small things. The polite shyness of someone who does not want to spend the entire day talking about himself. Boys / men that would walk in front of me to grab the door (car, classroom or whatever). People that had promise and a solid future.

I am really looking forward to my reunion :-)

Yay!

Thank you for all of your support. I found a new job!! More money and less hours! You guys are the best ;-) The only down side is that I will be traveling for the next three months for training. At least I will be home on the weekends! I am going to save up for a trip across the pond!

God Bless the Red Star of Satan

So, I am still employed, at least for the time being. The "red star of Satan" has not fired me (yet) but I know it is coming. Everything is down, and I am grateful that I am still on the payroll. I am looking for a new job, and am happy that I do have options.
It is strange to think of starting a new career at 37. THANK GOD I have a college degree. I am shocked at how many jobs now require a B.A. -- even Admin Assistants!!! I can (if I must) live for about 6-9 months on savings, and can always pick up a temp job (I mean who wouldn't hire a master degreed smart ass?!?!?!) and go from there.
Many of the other people I work with are living paycheck to paycheck and scared that today will be their last day. I feel for them. Struggling and scared and being forced out into an over saturated work market.
AND we are (being the royal we of management) being forced to study a "keep morale high" book which makes me want to puke. My first suggestion was to stop firing people, and maybe morale would stop sinking. The higher ups were not impressed. lol
One good thing about being next on "the list" is that I can say and do what I want. I mean what are they going to do...fire me...sooner????

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

I was a total sloth today. I admit it. The roommates dog and I spent the day lounging in bed and watching football. (The cats spent their entire day watching the bird feeder and are waiting for the Giants game next weekend!) I may have to work six days next week, and that sucked all the motivation out of me.
We (the royal we, meaning the dog and I) did spend some time cleaning up the backyard, but not too much time. My knee is still killing me, and I can only do chores in 15 min (cough - half time - cough) increments. I am scared to death of re-injuring my knee and I know I need to stop babying it.
My cousin has a birthday this week. She is a junior in high school, and is truly a wonderful person.
The entire family is meeting up at a restaurant to celebrate. The only problem -- her Mother will be there. (Her mother moved 2000 miles away to move in with a married man she met on the internet six years ago). I was once very good friends with her Mother, but now can not stand the thought of her. She used to send me the most venomous letters and we have not gotten along since she left. I have seen her twice since she left.
I know that I will "behave" for my cousins sake. I would never dream of making a scene at her birthday. It just makes me sad that it has come down to this. A former close friend who has turned into someone I no longer recognize. Should be interesting.

To the Gods on Netflix...

I thank you! Now that I can instantly watch movies, I can become a total sloth!! Last night I watched the documentary "The Great Happiness Space." Now I know that there are "male geishas" that make in one month, what I make in a year. I mean who know that women would pay thousands of dollars to hang out and chat with a male. For an evening. With ten of his other "clients." Totally missed that option in the career councilors meeting.
I get to work tomorrow. (I know -- who wouldn't want to spend their Saturday at work??) At least I will have my Muppets lunchbox to keep me company. Thank God this is the year of my "not giving a damn" -- it should make working soooo much easier.
I did get a NYE midnight kiss though! Of course it was NYE in New York, and the one doing the kissing was Willa the dog, but it will do. I could have kissed "wanna be fark buddy" but know that he is interested in me -- I find him annoying.
Yes, I do need mental help. :-)

2009 -- The year of not giving a damn

Yes dear readers, it IS a Pigs in Space lunchbox! My co-workers are going to be pea-green with envy in the new year! AND it has a thermos. Thank God I am working on Saturday to be able to show it off. I mean if I had a "noncorporate job" then I would have four days off, and would have to wait until MONDAY to show it off.

Speaking of work...apparently our "insurance company" decided that my surgeon did not know what he was talking about and that I did not need physical therapy and canceled my last four sessions. So I went "three sessions over" since they did not bother to tell me, or anyone else. I honestly did not know that an out of state insurance company could over-ride a surgeon. my bad. LOL

I am really looking forward to the new year. It is the year of "not giving a damn." Now, that is not as bad as it sounds...it is really quite positive. (Or in my politically correct work world -- it is the year of "no longer caring." Instead of bottling up everything, when I am bothered by something I will reply "No longer caring" or "Don't give a Damn."

For example:
Big VP Boss Dude "IF you come in an hour early, and stay and hour late AND come in on Sundays (for only an hour) then "the company" could make an extra $17.12. Don't you think that will look good on your review.

Reply: No longer caring. My review is already in the toilet because we did so well the past two years, there was no room for improvement and therefore we all flatlined.

See - perfect. They can't fire me (cough - cloak of disability - cough) and, quite frankly, I really do no longer care.

I like my life away from work. I love my house. I love walking the roommates dog and snuggling with the cats. I love being able to come home and have the energy to do things. Working 12 hour days (plus commuting) is not worth it if the bottom line does not change. No one is impressed by it, and I am no longer trying to impress anyone. I will never be promoted, and all of the ass-kissing and overtime will not change that fact.

I know the economy is bad. I know jobs are scarce. However -- my life is valuable. I do not believe in working 7 days a week. I do not believe in checking work emails on holidays, and I do not believe in expecting those "beneath" me in the organization should either. The willingness to work yourself to death is not a trait that I value.

I am going to enjoy 2009. I am going to take charge again. I seem to have lost myself along the way. I am looking forward to finding out what the hell happened to me :-)

Need I say it again??? PIGS IN SPACE LUNCHBOX!!! I rule!

Sweet smell of success

I am feeling much better. My Dr. has limited my work hours to eight hours a day (down from 10-12) and I am beginning to feel my sanity slowly creep back. Post surgery I am scared to death of reinjuring myself, and I am slowing losing that panicy feeling.
I think my problem is two fold -- lack of sleep and too much work. I generally have to be at work at 6:30 a.m. This time of year we can work from 530 to 530. (Which means getting up at 430 and going to bed at 9). I do not sleep well as it is, and put physical therapy on top of it all, and you get neurotic me. Now that I am back to a strict schedule, I am no longer wanting to cry all day at work.
I am still looking for another job. Primarily because my limited schedule will end by the end of January, and I know I will not retire at this company.
On a strange other note...I have made two odd purchases in the last three days. Two expensive parfumes. I do get them discounted, but ended up getting better deals on ebay. Anyone who knows me knows that I rarely wear makeup, and am a t-shirt and jeans kind of person. I do, however, spend a crap load on Chanel parfumes. I will be the best smelling patient in the looney bin.